"Our egos want to be light that shine happiness but we're lights that shine everything." ~ Richard Moss
When we are children...we do not search for happiness. Happiness just is. Then unhappiness is. Then happiness again. We are fluid in our states of being. Then we become acculturated. We learn to define our preferences. We start to say things like "I'm unhappy and I won't be happy until..." (fill in the blank)
So we go on the search for happiness. Ever elusive and always out of reach. We get temporarily happy when we are in love or get the job, the house, the vacation, the baby, the money, the retirement, the.... You get the idea. Because as soon as we have the 'desired' thing, the object of our never ending search, we are nearly instantly unhappy because happiness is not something that you can grasp. You cannot hold on to it. Each time you seem to have it in your hand...away it slips and you feel back where you started; looking for the happiness you are certain you deserve!
What if the secret to 'Happiness' is not outside of us?
What if the secret to being "Happy" is something that is in us every microsecond of every day?
What if "Happy" is something deeper than Facebook memes, puppies and a glass of wine?
What if "Happy" is actually feeling at ease in your own skin? ....trusting your existence to be 'enough'? ....being at ease with whatever shows up...even the thoughts, the feelings, the situations and circumstances that we want to push away, deny and avoid....Yes, even the really difficult ones like betrayal, loss, pain and all the rest?
Now, I am not saying that you won't have moments when the feelings, thoughts and situations have you singin' the blues. The joy is that we are MEANT to be 'full-spectrum' beings.
Let me tell you a little story:
Almost three years ago I had a deep betrayal pop up in my life. The details are not important. I was feeling very hurt and angry and sad to the point of despair. I wanted to lash out, return the pain and there were certain a couple of times I did say what I was thinking and feeling. A good friend asked me what I wanted to do and even suggested some possible actions I could take. They were humorous suggestions. They were meant to bring me out of the depths and give me something to hold to whilst I got my bearings. What I realized quickly was that in spite of the sense of loss and all the reactivity that I was hurtled into by my mind, I was actually just fine. I was breathing and feeling and eating and sleeping and going to work and spending time doing things that made me feel creative. I felt the anger - but I was NOT the anger. I felt the fear - but I was NOT the fear. I was NONE of the feelings or thoughts. They passed through me. Some quickly, some came back around for more passes. Through it all I had a witness who watched me and held me safe. That witness was the one who sits at the seat of my heart and soul. She would stop me when I would get caught in a story. She would say things like: "You want to strike out. What will happen if you do? What outcome do you hope for? Is there a way you can get that without doing what you are thinking about doing?" She kept me questioning my own values and integrity. Happy became a choice. The choice was clear: Feel, think, do...and allow the Witness to help you question what no longer serves your deepest Self.
Is this easy? No....and YES!
Next time some feeling or thought threatens to sweep you away.....ask your Witness to hold you safe while the storm passes. Seriously. Ask....you are always held safe by your own wise soul.
And remember: We are lights that shine everything!
Till next time - Blessings