We talk about the need to 'take care' of ourselves.
We talk about 'taking time' for ourselves.
In the new speak, we talk about 'Self-Care"
We all know we need to have compassion for ourselves and do things to 'take care' of 'us'.
The problem is that we don't know what that means...or how it looks to do that. So off we go to get the massage, shop for new shoes (or whatever), indulge in wine or food or sex or.....(fill in the blank).
Then - we feel can guilty. We have told ourselves that we deserve the indulgence but then can drop into shame at the choices we made and instead of feeling as though we have cared for the human being that we are...we are sinking into the Monkey Mind Chatter that tells us all the things 'wrong' with us and with our choices...All the reasons we are undeserving....
Before you know it you have a battle going on. Like those classic comic and cartoon images of a Devil on one shoulder and an Angel on the other, both whispering into our ears with conflicting ideas.
What I am learning...always...is that there is another, more solid way to connect with what we truly need to care for ourselves. Our Values. A better word is Integrity.
When we don't act from that grounding principle...whatever that is for Us...we know it. We feel the tug at our heart...the nag at the back of our mind or the pang in the gut. Sometimes it scares us and we refuse to look at it for fear of the judging and berating we will do to ourselves if we let ourselves look in the mirror at our own reflection.
However....those moments are gifts. If we pause there...step back in that moment...look deeper to 'feel' if the choice or act we are moving toward or away from feels in alignment with our own integrity..then, in that pause we can have more compassion for ourselves...and by extension...for others around us.
In that relaxation of the pause...we are truly engaged in moving from our own grounded center, our own integrity and then our actions are more honest, more connected to our deepest, highest Self. That is TRUE 'Self-Care'.
Life and Love are always about Relationship. When we act from our own Integrity....we are in connection to ourselves, our world....and all her inhabitants.
Take time to pause and connect with YOUR own Integrity.....then......you'll take the BEST care of yourself.